The Power Of Words

Words.

One of the most important things we use to communicate. You, this very second, are reading a collection of words I’ve thrown into the universe (or cyber space for that matter) to convey my exact emotions/feelings/thoughts at this very moment. What a beautiful thing right? To be able to read someone’s feelings. To be able to feel someone’s heart through words.

So often we take for granted the words we speak. Words are used to complain, to gossip, or worse….hurt others or even ourselves. With such an amazing ability we have to communicate why on earth would we use our words to spread hate? I was reading my morning devotional and this exact topic came up.

-Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. 

There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword. But the tongue of the wise promotes health. 

I encountered a situation last night where words were used to try and hurt me. Here I was trying to be productive & helpful and someone was trying to purposefully put me down. For whatever reason, unknown to me, this person went out of their way to use their ability as a sword and cut into me. It hurt.

Instead of reacting right then and there and calling the person out…I remained quiet and decided to actually THINK before I reacted. However I cannot necessarily say I was slow to anger, because girl…it was there…and it was boiling over. After I thought about all the ways I could snap back at this individual (lets face it in the heat of the moment that is far more appealing) I sat and thought back to times where I also wasn’t so nice to others.

Back in my high school years I wasn’t always the person I am today. In fact..some may say I was a mean girl. In my mind anyone I argued with or put down “had it coming”. I had some sort of “reason” why I treated them bad. I had some sort of “reason” why I used my words to cut into them vs. promote a healthy loving environment. And you know what? I was MISERABLE. I was so unhappy with where I was & so on the defense all the time I allowed it to be a scape goat to use my words in a negative way to drag others down. It was awful. It was embarrassing.

However over the last decade as I have grown into womanhood I have recognized how important our words are. Even in difficult situations…words cannot be taken back. So therefore we need to use them wisely. Instead of going off and saying the first thing that comes to mind….we need to pause, listen, and actually put thought into the words we use. This goes for the words we speak to ourselves as well. Every word you put out into the universe should promote love, health, & positivity. And more importantly during the difficult times….RESPECT. Respect for the person you are interacting with & respect enough for yourself to recognize that your words are truly a reflection of who you are on the inside. After all your words are simply your inner thoughts being brought to light.

So after this negative encounter last night I started to recognize that this person in fact lacks self respect. They have not been able to grow into a positive or love promoting individual. They think so low of themselves that they carelessly use their words to try and drag others down with them. And that…Is heartbreaking to me. Because I understand what that feels like. Because I too…was a miserable person back in my younger years. And like the saying goes….”Misery loves company”. I wanted others to feel the way I was feeling. I was self centered & inconsiderate to those around me. I wish so badly I could go back and talk to that girl and explain to her the impact of her words. They truly are one of the most powerful tools we have.

I challenge you today to take a few moments and consider the words you speak in a day. Are they good? Do they bring value into your own life or the life of others? Are they genuine and respectful? Or are you careless and speak the first words that come to mind even if they are negative? Your words have the power to help heal or destroy. So use them wisely. You would be amazed at how a simple change in the way you communicate will multiply the happiness in your life.

Proverbs 18:21-The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Happy Friday All. Much love to you & heres to using our words for good.The Maven Life

 

 

 

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How to “UnFunk” Yourself

FUNK.

We’ve all felt it. The every looming FUNK phase in our life. It comes and goes. Sometimes provoked by crappy circumstance, and sometimes not. However for some reason when it hits..it hits HARD. And it feels even harder to come out of. Literally every aspect of your life can be brought down by the ominous FUNK.

I was in a bad funk the first half of 2018. I was running two online businesses, managing a company of women succeed in their own ventures, & still attempting to manage my every day life as wife/daughter/sister/friend. Until one day my world stopped.

On March 1st, my birthday, my beloved grandfather slipped into his next life as I held his hand. My soul was shattered. My eyes are welling up with tears as I type this and still remember that final touch of his hand. How would I ever be the same? I wouldn’t.

My funk then turned into a deep depression and I attempted to (and still attempt to) navigate through the emotions of grief. How could I just go back to work like everything was normal when such an important soul was lost? I wanted to shake the world and tell them all to STOP!!! This man meant something..haven’t you all noticed? Do any of you care? Do you even understand what he was and is to my family and I?

I struggled for the next few weeks to even get out of bed. Not only for my loss but seeing how this loss impacted my family. My mother who lost her father…my grandmother who just lost her mother 3 months prior now losing her best friend & husband. Talk about gut wrenching…. I begged and pleaded with God to PLEASE let my Grandfather send me some type of a message. I just needed to know he was safe. I just needed to know what I should be doing next. What should I be doing? How will I be doing it?

On the morning of his Birthday July 3rd I was getting ready to head over to my grandmother’s house. My sister had planned a special balloon release in his memory and for celebration of his first birthday in heaven. As I was getting ready I randomly started hearing this song in my head.

“Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin

I then started having this memory of a fish. Some random toy fish on a board that you could hang up. It had a red button on the bottom and would move its head/lips and sing this song. The song just kept repeating itself in my head. I knew I had heard this song before (who hasn’t), but I wasn’t quite sure where this memory of a toy fish was coming from. I blew it off and left for Grandma’s house.

When I got there we were all visiting and this memory popped up again. So I asked Grandma..

“This is so random. I’m not even sure if its real or if I dreamed it. But did Grandpa by chance have a toy fish back in the day that sang the Don’t Worry Be Happy song?”

“Yes he did! Im surprised you even remember. You were so little when he had it. You used to make him play it and sing it to you all the time.”

Chills.

Call it what you want…that was my sign from him. I had been spending the last few months so worried about what was next & how/what I should be doing. He heard me. And this was his advice. When I got home I thanked God for this message & decided I no longer wanted to be living in this funk/fog/depressive state. I had to stop worrying & be happy because this is what my Grandpa wanted.

Which leads me to the whole….How to UnFUNK yourself portion of this. I recognized that while part of my funk was completely based on circumstances I couldn’t control…there was a whole other side of it that I COULD. I recognized that I was overwhelmed. I had 2 businesses to run, a community of women to train/help, and still maintain a semi-normal social life through all of this. Why was I overwhelmed…what was I lacking here?

Structure.

You see being an entrepreneur and working from home is amazing however…there isn’t a schedule unless YOU create one. And I needed it desperately. And not only did I need a structured schedule of time, but I needed a new perspective. My mind went back to my grandpa who suffered his whole life with Polio. Never being able to walk on his own. But he still showed up for his family, friends,…and more importantly HIMSELF. He showed up everyday with his crutches determined to work and do what needed to be done. And here I am healthy & able and I sleep in, groan about work, never go to the gym, become so overwhelmed with my own lack of schedule that I procrastinate and let things pile up. How selfish of me! What a gift it is to be awake, able, and alive today to make a difference! I needed to practice gratitude. Even if it was in the smallest way.

So I made a schedule. I started off by writing down what my ideal day would look like. If I lived in a world where I was a morning person, I could start my day with a fresh & positive perspective, & I had more time to accomplish my never ending list of tasks…what would that look like? I mapped it all out hour by hour. As I was staring at it I realized…I could do this. There is no reason this cannot be attainable for me. If I want to live the girl boss life…I HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. NO EXCUSES.

So I challenged myself. For the next 30 days I would stick to this routine Every. Single. Day. I would show up for myself just like my Grandfather did. I would not continue to take for granted the days given to me. Here is what some of this new routine looks like for me…

6:00 wake up (alarm is set to Don’t Worry Be Happy song)

-Do NOT check social media first thing. Devotional/Personal Development time, let dogs out, Breakfast/Coffee, & clean kitchen & living room for the first hour of the day.

7:00am Social Media Check in. Catch up on all missed notifications, messages, emails etc. And make your morning post. (Which usually ends up in some inspiring tid bit I reflected upon from my personal development I started the day off with)

9:15am Mon/Wed/Fri Gym Class (This may vary depending on what class I choose to go to. And if I decide to go on a Tues/Thurs class in the mix thats extra brownie points. (Literally…I can enjoy an extra brownie for working out more)

10:30am-11:00 Shower & Snack

11:30am- Facebook LIVE Get Ready With Me on my Beauty Page

1:00pm- Boutique Shipments

2:00pm-Deliver to USPS

2:30pm- Walk Dogs

3:00pm Catch up on house cleaning

 

And the rest of the day varies depending on what events or appointments we may have. But you get the overall view. Being able to TIME BLOCK my schedule and say…okay Im giving myself X amount of time to focus on this one area…. After that time is up…my work is up and the rest can wait until tomorrow….THAT has been a LIFESAVER. I realized that I’m a one woman show. Thats okay..but I need to be realistic & strict with where my time is going. If I want more hours in a day..I need to get my butt up earlier instead of sleeping in. If I don’t want to feel overwhelmed and flustered while I work….I need to set boundaries for myself on when Im focusing on what area and keep that promise. Which means leaving some messages unread if they come during a time that Im focusing on something else. And THATS OKAY!! For my sanity, for my productivity, for my soul. I also utilize a paper planner not just my phone! I have it set up in 3 sections.

-3 Things I MUST get done that day (If I do more great, if not thats okay too)

-3 Things of Self Love (How am I going to invest in ME today)

-3 Things of Gratitude (Small or Big doesn’t matter..writing out what you’re grateful for helps you actually visualize it and appreciate it more)

Combining my phone calendar, alarms, and paper planner has truly kept me on the structured path & I think I’ve finally found a system that works for me!!

It has now been exactly 21 Days since I started this “UnFUNK yourself” schedule, and let me tell you, It has been LIFE CHANGING. Some days its been difficult for sure. Some days I stray from the actual outline, but overall It has given me a new motivation for my day to day. I’m actually excited to get up early and show up for myself. To spend time with ME. That way I can be the best version of myself and pour more inspiration into my work & into others.

One of the personal development books I’ve been listening to on my audible app is the book “Girl, Wash your face” by Rachel Hollis. It really helped further push my perspective towards a positive light even in the midst of darkness. It helped me recognize that I should be showing up for myself like I do my friends. How can I expect to be running every aspect of my life efficiently if I can’t even keep promises to myself?? I highly recommend if you’re trying to learn better habits or create a new schedule that you read this. (You can grab it here)

The truth of the matter is the FUNK will always be here. It will creep up unexpectedly and still suck to go through. However we are not completely helpless. We have a choice. A choice to show up for ourselves and continue to show up every day. We have a choice to show gratitude for even the smallest of things we have. I challenge you all to take some time and write out what your ideal day looks like to you. Then come up with a game plan on how you can achieve this kind of schedule. Do you need to get up an hour earlier? Do you need to block out some time to dedicate to specific tasks? Do you need to set alarms on your phone to remind you? (Like I do!)

After 21 days of keeping this promise to myself I can confidently tell you it has started to change my life. All areas. For the better. And I know it will do the same for you!

Happy “UnFUNK”ing babes!

-TheMavenLife

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